----*** refers to the country's name----
Let’s begin chronologically, Friday lunch. The Tunisian researcher, heading a department in three different regions of the world for one of the biggest consumer companies there is out there, passed by my office and invited me to have lunch, which I gladly accepted. And over lunch, after the usual stuff, he began talking to me about his life and his views about living abroad.
Saturday was really good weather, and a very nice debate. The successful Egyptian doctor, who has recently moved back to his homeland, was on a business trip. Ironically enough, we talked about living abroad as well.
They both left their homelands to study and stayed, resulting in a very thriving and not so easy life abroad and although they come from different countries, and work in different ones as well, from their words you can sense they came from very comparable environments, and moved to very similar ones. And approximately the same age, circumstances and environments make the comparison very valid.
You think it was boring getting the same talk two days in a row; it wasn't. Although the topic has the same title, I was stunned on how different conclusions can come out from two very similar stories. And by conclusions I don’t mean wealth or success, I mean their own personal views of their decision to leave and its consequences 15 or maybe 20 years later.
Who they are or what they does not concern me. It’s not their story I’m interested in. What caught my attention is how they see their homeland, and the land they went to live in. Two reviews of the same movie made my head twirl, and lead to reinitiating a debate inside my head that I thought was settled a long time ago.
I’ll keep this as short and to the point as I can, refraining from giving my personal opinion due to the fact that it’s not that clear at the moment. And as the profession and nationality don’t really matter, for the sake of eliminating stereotyping and such, both opinions will be stated with no reference to which they belong to. Allow me as well to speak their opinion as if they were presenting it.
“You have a limit. If there is no strong link to the government you can only reach a certain level back in ***”. The Lack of freedom, leads to restraining the potential of people with no connections or links to the government or key persons/organizations. If ambition and quality is the key for success in free nations, to be successful at *** you need to be cunning, deceiving and satisfied by a certain limit. By comparison, here, you work you get paid, you perform you earn, you excel you get rewarded. Performance based system verses ignorance based system. Those who show prospect success are given all the opportunity and facilities to achieve it, while there they grab on to any rising project, hoping to get a piece of what they do not have right to; may that be lawfully or unlawfully. Conclusion, getting away is the best thing that ever happened to me. I love my homeland, I love the people and the culture and I visit friends and family there. But I never would have had the chance to follow my dreams or feed my ambition, I would have been forced to live in boundaries, no matter how much effort I put in.
The other story is quite different….
I achieved a lot I have to admit, and it is really doubtful if I would have done the same thing if I stayed. “You say I am staying for a year, then it grows on you and you can’t escape. I’ll wait until the masters. Just one or two years….and you end up spending half your life there”. There is always more to achieve, and it lures you in ways it is very hard to refuse. And at some point you want to go back, very difficult. Would you leave all what you achieved and go back to less earning and lower standard of living, and most importantly less respect and recognition? Most people don’t. I did though, and if I could go back in time, I wouldn’t have gone in the first place. Everything has a price, but sometimes the bill is just too high. What was the expense of living abroad and success? You are living against the flow, always a minority. Even if you are a citizen. (I, Omar Yousry, completely agree with that. It’s very true!)
Your kids? Never the same. You can fight, but it’s a neither a proportional nor fair battle. It’s a battle against the society, against the community, the school, the friends and even the fellow countrymen who blended in. If you are able to live against the flow or maintain your beliefs, that's because you have a base of being raised up back in *** and had your character built there. But your kids? How long can you protect them? How long can you fight for them. Till when are you going to have something they need? And will they stick around after that is not the case? It’s a lost battle as I see it. It’s like fighting 100 soldiers with machineguns alone holding a kitchen knife. Even if you are sure you can guarantee yourself, you can never guarantee your kids. It’s a 10% chance if you ask me!! “If your 18 year old kid comes home with an earring – something unacceptable for most middle eastern societies – do you have anything to do?? Here, I don’t think so!!”
If you can’t see the link between the two stories, don't worry that much....that's 5 mins of your life that you can never get back...:P If you can, welcome to my world....and if you have a theory there...please do share....
What is my opinion? I really thought I had one….until that weekend. Now I am really confused….I am as lost as a duckling in the middle of the lake with her mummy duck no where to be seen….. Hopefully when I figure it out I’ll share it someday….
Over….Wa domtom….
3 comments:
i have an opinion, but that's a long debate, because my opinion is not static, it actually combines both arguments and sides of the debate. i understand where the first is coming from although i disagree with the radicality of the views because its not rosy abroad at all. the second i agree with but i also think the opportunities that could present themselves abroad should be taken advantage of IF they exist, and while being very aware of the goal.. you shouldn't "Get lost in the flow" if u have that goal.
on a more writing technique note however, I loved this: "two reviews of the same movie made my head twirl"
really: excellent metaphor!
My opinion is if you think that teaching your children that your community is right and everyone else is wrong then...well imo you're messed up
And if you think life is remotely about the success and how many people respect you are messed up
IMO its about serving people and feeling that you touched lives but you are doing rather than made "successful relationships/businesses"
And the fact that you are proud that you dont care about "who are the as people" is quiet shallow..but typical
DOMTOMSSS
the most important lesson I may have learned in this life is that nothing is really right or wrong everything is in between and everything has its own defections
its about how you look into this whole thing some people know very well that they will be always be rewarded more in other socities but they cant stand living away from home
others may look in another way for them home is actually where they could feel rewarded
but at the end of the day no matter what if you are not a native you will never be a native no matter how many years you lived in this other country you wont be considered a native you will always be a foreigner in the eyes of the others
p.s: what about Christiano Ronaldo ?
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