Za3laan shewayaa....

----Most probably nothing here will be new, so I hope it isn’t boring----

"Ana asly za3laan shewayaa"....this is a verse in a song that passed by me....and made me think about happiness...

I discovered that I have my own interpretation of happiness. Happiness is not absolute, well not in this life at least. Absolute and everlasting happiness does not exist in this world.

Happiness on earth is momentary, meaning it is a temporary feeling. A state of being where you lose comprehension to everything around you and the feeling fills your veins.

Happy is not the opposite of sad, miserable, depressed, gloomy, distressed or any other synonym the word comes up with!! For me, Never was and never will. Just something worth noting as you go on in this….

What I came to acknowledge as well is that it -happiness- can only occur due to ‘good’ reasons. In a more comprehendible way; to be happy, you have to be happy for a nice deed you did, a favor you did without hard feelings, a positive effect you had on something or someone, an achievement you know will effect you or the world around you constructively for days to come or….you get what I mean.

The state of euphoria after breaking a red light, reaching 180Km/h or a long awaited revenge isn’t happiness. Moreover, when you pass a hard test or get straight As, score the winning goal for your team or beat your own record of movies in a row, even earning a promotion at work or getting a bargain on your new car. That’s just not it.

I know a lot of people would question my judgment, and they have all the right to. This is my personal opinion in the end. I do not claim to have unveiled the secret of human happiness, or the rules of the universe. Only God has that. However I do claim to have been through enough in my life, even at 21, to be able to judge for myself….

I allege to know how to spot, indulge and record (in my memory) my moments of happiness, and I believe I always will and I have reasons for that. For me it’s clear enough. See, I think as life goes by, everything goes past you unnoticed or let’s say uncared for, except those stuff that really affect you…..

Any experience you go through in life, as big as getting married or as small as tying you shoelace, has an impact on your life and character. It may be positive or negative and it defiantly varies in scale and effect, but you can never escape! Nevertheless, what remains, or let’s say what leaves a mark, is only a few.

I categorize those experiences as either good, bad or neutral. Bad ones leave a red mark -and the colors don’t mean anything!!- that may be for pain, anger, disappointment, regret and the likes. Green marks unforgettable happy moments, those that gave you satisfaction, true happiness from deep inside. You may have earned them, had them gifted by someone else, or just thrown in your way by fate –or luck as some might say-; but what really matters is that they stay. Neutral -white- would include anything that’s not good or bad, or slightly this or that, and mostly can easily fall into one of the previous two categories.

I even dare to say, that whatever you don’t remember, is not a happy moment. If you were really happy, you will get a permanent stamp somewhere in your brain….it may fade a little or get lost for a while, but it’s there. May it be yesterday, last summer, a few years back or when you were still sucking your thumb; aged five, twenty, or seventy five.……If it’s worth it, you will remember. This also goes for Red or White marks, but I’m talking happy here……!

I hear…“Life sometimes turns 360 degrees”. Yes I agree with that. In fact, that happens very often. You have a very happy incident that you think would result in very good things, but after a period, this good turns into bad and you maybe start regretting that act in the first place. Does this make that so called happy moment a not-happy one? I don’t think so. Even if that happy moment connects or results to another of a different nature, it stills remains a happy moment. You can’t change that. My point here is that these moments are not connected to those before it or after it, even if they are related, or even causing or resulting in it. A very stupid example – I tend to be an expert in stupid examples – is if you are playing football and scored the winning goal, and in the next match you miss a penalty in the last minute that would have put your team through to the next stage. Does the moment after the first match fade as a result…?? To other people maybe, to you Never!!

Most humans in this life are pursuing their happiness, I am not. This is not saying I am waiting for good things to happen to me without working for it. No, life doesn’t work that way. Be optimistic, go for your dreams, do your best and accept whatever the result is. That’s how I see life and try to live it, but let’s leave philosophy for later…..

For me, I am waiting. Waiting for the small moments, the unexpected incidents; the 1 hour of content after a day of hard work, the 1 day of happiness after a year of fighting; the smile on a friend’s face or the tear from a delegate’s eye; the surprising effect of a personal action or the mesmerizing feeling of happiness from a complete stranger. Waiting to see a 10 minute speech or a 20 minute presentation, a brother achieving more than me or a friend doing better than I ever will, a companion I haven’t seen in a while or a stupid award I got when I was 12 for writing a 7 page report about planes. Waiting to hear a word of praise from a person I respect or a warm welcome from a loved one, to look back at months of work in the last minutes before it ends or seeing the smile on my mum’s face after making her slightly happy.

I wait….and I’ll never stop waiting….
I stand there, like a baseball player with his glove open, ready to catch. Ready to seize the moment, grasp the incident and capture the scene. It’s short, it’s momentary, and it only lasts for a while. So keep an eye on the ball when its still high in the air, watch it as it comes closer, stretch your arm as far as you can…..and if you are meant to catch the ball, enjoy….Not the cheering of the crowd or the shouts of your team, but the inner feeling of achievement, the fulfilling mood of satisfaction….Enjoy being Happy….it doesn't last for long...!!

Over…Wa Domtom…