2013... New Beginnings...

Ever Questioned yourself... I don't mean the normal I think I may not be able to pep-talk everyone gives him/herself once in a while...

I mean the real thing... Why am I here now? Where did I go right? Wrong?

What? 24!! 2013!! but... but...

Tomorrow will be better.... or more of the same... or worse... or it may not even come...

Does any living soul really realize the concept of death?! At any level..? To any degree..?

Why does it hurt..? This is one I didn't see coming....

Yet another night of guilt, reflection and lostness... if that is even a word....

..........

I Miss...

Several people out there I miss so much....

Some I approach and reach for....

Others... I would love to have the guts to do the same....

..........

Teaching Myself an Old Lesson....Again...

If things aren't going how you want them to be... Force them to be...!!

Don't push anyone too much, it gets the worst out of them. More importantly, don't allow others to push you too much!

If the above happens, Apologize... Apologize... Apologize... If you can...

I lack self control, courage to take risks and anger management.... among many other things...

It's never Over... Until you want it to... And even then, it's not guaranteed...

Life has been cruel to me before, I have took poor decisions back then... And Life Goes On...

Reasons for Writing...

I'm haven't written in quite a while... but it feels good to be back...
I write because it makes me feel better....

A lot of people I know are writing lately... which is not a bad thing at all...
That kinda reminded me of why I like to write, or rather that I like to write!


Reasons for writing vary from one person to another (I am talking about internet bloggers here, not professional writers :D ), but in the end there are some common reasons here and there.


Maybe that's why some people stop blogging, I highly doubt it's the lack of time. Some do return after a while and some just don't simply because their reasons for writing are no longer there...

Personally, I started writing because I felt lonely... I needed company, I needed to share my thought with everyone... But after a while, it didn't seem a good idea...

My blog got me into a lot of trouble (and one very good thing that I didn't know about for a long time), so I decided to stop... That didn't work out either...

Then I decided that maybe I'll write for myself only... Worked for a while... :D

And now that I'm back to it, I write for myself in principal... I write to share my thoughts with myself...
Crazy... yeah I know... I do have some history in that...

I write for bloggers, for those who are interested... I write for nothing actually...

I try not to go too personal, I try not to leave room for doubt or speculation... but I still write... or try to at least!


I have to admit... I do want people to read my blog... :)
And I have to admit... I don't really care if they do or don't...
Well... that isn't entirely true... :))
But...              Oh Nevermind........


Over...Wa Dotom...

About Smoking...

I hate Smoking... No I Resent Smoking!

Smoking, not smokers! The act of puffing smoke out of one's mouth and/or nose.

Cigarettes or Shisha (Hookah), Cigar or Pipe; I hate them all...

I know I have no right to judge people, and I am not. I am just speaking my mind.

I am not saying smokers are bad people; I just don't like to see my friends or family smoking.

Can you imagine what can be done with all the money spent on smoking? (I am not giving any numbers you can look it up for yourself)

Did you suffer a loss in your family which smoking played a part in?

Do you see smoking as a habit our society can be healthier without? 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Male_Smoking_by_Country.png

Personally I don't smoke, don't plan to, and isa never will; for the following reasons respectively:

• It's prohibited (7aram) in Islam, my religion.
• It's harmful for one's health (lung cancer and heart attacks to say the least).
• It has no benefits whatsoever.
• It's a waste of time and money.
• It's addictive, leading to dependency on tobacco!
• It's a lame way to socialize, kill time, get warm or be manlier.

I admire non-smoking people and it makes me happy to know that someone stopped smoking; whatever their reason, it doesn't really matter.

I respect smokers; I just hope they would stop.

I hate Smoking....! And I hope it lessens :)

God Bless Egypt...God bless you all...

Over...Wa Domtom...

Responsible...

What exactly is a person responsible for?

His words? Actions? Thoughts?

To what degree?? Am I responsible for my what I did in High School?

Do I take credit for all the good things GUCMUN does to people?? Do I hold responsibility for the not so good?

I am to blame if one scout had drugs or got a girl? And if one became tougher do I really take credit for that?

How can I evaluate myself, if the only real judge is one's conscious?


If you hurt someone once, does that mean you left a scar forever? And if you did, what does that really mean?

Am I Responsible for anything bad that happens to that certain person?
The answer to the last Question must be yes, or it it wouldn't hurt that much...

Over...Wa Domtom...

جورج والعيد

I didn't write this, but I'd like to share

جورج رجل أمريكي تجاوز الخمسين من عمره

يعيش في واشنطن مع زوجته وابنه وابنته

لمّا أقبل شهر ذي الحجة

بدأ جورج وزوجته وأولاده يتابعون الأخبار

لمعرفة يوم دخول شهر ذي الحجة

فالزوج يستمع للإذاعات ،

والزوجة تتابع القنوات الفضائية ،

والابن يبحث عن المواقع الإسلامية في الإنترنتِ

ولمّا أعلن عن تحديد أول يوم من أيام ذي الحجة

استعدّت العائلة لاستقبال العيد

الذي يوافق يوم العاشر من ذي الحجة

بعد الوقوف على جبل عرفة في اليوم التاسع

وفي اليوم الثاني ذهبت العائلة إلى الريف

لشراء الخروف الحي

الذي تم اختياره حسب الشروط الشرعية للأضحية

أن لا تكون عوراء ولا عرجاء ولا عجفاء

لكي يذبحوه أول يوم من عيد الأضحى

وحملوا الخروف على ظهر السيارة

وبدأ ثغاء الخروف ( صوته ) بالارتفاع

وأخذت البنت الصغيرة - ذات الخمس سنوات -

تردّد معه بصوتها العذب الجميل

وقالت لوالدها : يا أبي ما أجمل عيد الأضحى

حيث ألبس فستاني الجديد وأحصل على العيدية وأشتري بها دمية جديدة

وأذهب مع صديقاتي إلى مدينة الألعاب لنلهو هناك

آه ما أجمل أيام عيد الأضحى

ليت كل أيام السنة مثل يوم العيد

ولما وصلوا إلى المنزل وتوقفت السيارة

هتفت الزوجة : يا زوجي العزيز

لقد علمتُ أن من شعائر الأضحية أن يقسّم الخروف ثلاثة أثلاث

ثلث نتصدّق به على الفقراء والمساكين ،

وثلث نهديه إلى جيراننا ديفيد واليزابيث ومونيكا ،

والثلث الأخير نأكله نحن وندّخر الباقي إلى الأسابيع القادمة

ولمّا جاء يوم العيد

احتار جورج وزوجته أين اتجاه القبلة ليذبحوا الأضحية باتجاهها

وخمّنوا أنها باتجاه السعودية وهذا يكفي ،

أحدّ جورج سكينته ووجّه الخروف إلى القبلة وذبحها وقطّع اللحم

وقامت الزوجة بتقسيم اللحم إلى ثلاثة أثلاث حسب السُنّة

وهنا صرخ جورج قائلاً : لقد تأخّرنا عن الكنيسة

فاليوم هو الأحد وسوف يفوتنا القدّاس

وكان جورج لا يَدَع الذهاب إلى الكنيسة كل يوم أحد

بل ويحرص أن يصطحب زوجته وأولاده معه

انتهى حديث المتحدّث وهو يروي هذه القصة عن جورج

وسأله أحد الحضور: لقد حيّرتنا بهذه القصة !

هل جورج مسلم أم مسيحي ؟

قال المتحدّث : بل جورج وعائلته مسيحيون لا يؤمنون بأن الله واحد بل ثالث ثلاثة

ولا يعتقدون بأن محمداً - صلى الله عليه وسلم - هو خاتم الأنبياء والمرسلين

كثر الهرج في المجلس، وارتفعت الأصوات

وقال أحدهم: لا تكذب علينا يا أحمد ، فمن يصدّق أن جورج وعائلته يفعلون ذلك ؟

فكيف بالمسيحي يقوم بشعائر الإسلام والمسلمين ،

ويتابع الإذاعات والفضائيات ويحرص على معرفة يوم العيد ،

ويشتري خروفاً من ماله ويقسّم الأضحية و .. و .. !

قال أحمد بتعجّب وابتسامة: يا إخواني وأحبابي لماذا لا تصدّقون قصتي ؟

لماذا لا تعتقدون بوجود مثل هذا الفعل من عائلة مسيحية ؟

أليس هناك في بلاد المسلمين

عبد الله ومحمد وخالد وخديجة وفاطمة مَن يحتفلون بأعياد المسيحيين واليهود ؟

ألسنا نحتفل بعيد رأس السنة الميلادية ، وعيد الكرسمس , وعيد الحب ، وعيد الهلوين , وعيد الفصح .. وعيد الميلاد .. وعيد.... ؟

فلماذا لا يحتفل المسيحيون بأعيادنا .. لِمَ العجب ؟

لماذا نستنكر على جورج هذا التصرف ؟

ولا نستنكر على أنفسنا وعائلاتنا المسلمة مثل هذا ؟

هزّ أحمد يده وقال: لقد عشتُ في أمريكا أكثر من عشر سنوات

والله ما رأيتُ أحداً من المسيحيين أو اليهود احتفل بعيد من أعيادنا !

ولا رأيتُ أحداً سأل عن مناسباتنا ولا أفراحنا !

حتى احتفالي بعيد الفطر في شقتي

لم يُجِب أحدٌ دعوتي عندما علموا أن ما أحتفل به عيداً إسلامياً

لقد رأيتُ ذلك عند إقامتي في الغرب

ولمّا عدتُ إلى بلدي الإسلامي .. فإذا بنا نحتفل بأعيادهم

فلا حول ولا قوة إلا بالله العظيم

Over...Wa Domtom...

Nothing New...

People tend to give up too soon...
What you want is just around the corner...

Only those who can hold on long enough get what they want...

Nothing New?  I told you so... :))

Over...Wa Domtom...

It's your Fault...

Not Happy?                                    It's your Fault...

Not enjoying your studies/work?   It's your Fault...

Postponing things for no reason?   It's your Fault...

Not living as you want to live?      It's your Fault...

Not perusing your Happiness?       It's your Fault...

Never Never Never Give Up....

Over...Wa Domtom...

Documenting...

I am saving...for a trip...to the place I most want to go...with whome I most want to be...at the only time it seems possible...

Over...Wa Domtom...

D is for...

Depression...

I learned to embrace depression... make the most out of it...
For depression is almost always  - for me - followed by a period of clarity, a period of self assessment and if I'm lucky some connection with God...

It is known that depression makes one think less of himself, I see that useful every once in a while. For lets face it, we are a weak imperfect creature. Knowing that and accepting it, the choice of returning to one's desired path is always there...

I am sorry to depress you on the first day of Eid (Muslim Feast), but then no one reads this anyway... That for some reason is a very comforting thought...Coming to think of it, I don't know why I even bother to write here...Yet again, maybe I do...

Enough Crazyness... Happy Eid to me (and you)... Let's Hope the Eid Spirit privails in the end... :))

Over...Wa Domtom...

I've Got a Feeling....

And it says everything is gonna be alright... eventually... :))

Hello World...!

Over...Wa Domtom...

A glimpse of reality...

I haven't been writing a lot  lately...and I stopped publicizing for it...
Don't get me wrong... I prefer it this way... It feels better...

It's about time this blog fulfilled its original purpose...

Just some transitional thoughts....as I just graduated and all...
Here goes...



There are friends who end with the end of a phase or period...
Always remember the good times... and if you can afford let go of all the rest...

There are friends who are always there, distant or close may they be...
Don't take these for granted...

There are friends who you can talk about anything with...
You can trust them with your life...

There are those who you enjoy their company...
It's never a bad time to spend some good time...

And there are those who care for you, close or not...
Those can lift you up without them even knowing...
Those keep you going...
Never lose those...Those you'll regret the most... :))

Over...Wa Domtom...

إذا رأيت الله يحبس عنك الدنيا - Parts of an email I got the other day...

 تبسم "
فإن .. الله ..
ما أشقاك إلا ليسعدك 
وما أخذ منك إلا ليعطيك 
وما أبكاك إلا ليضحكك 
وما حرمك إلا ليتفضل عليك

وما ابتلاك .. إلا لأنه أحبك "

قال الغزالي رحمه الله : 
إذا رأيت الله يحبس عنك الدنيا ويكثر عليك الشدائد والبلوى ..
فاعلم أنك عزيز عنده .. وأنك عنده بمكان .. 
وأنه يسلك بك طريق أوليائه وأصفيائه .. وأنه .. يراك ..

قال أحد السلف
إن الله ضمن لك الرزق فلا تقلق .. ولم يضمن لك الجنة فلا تفتر ..
واعلم أن الناجين قلة .. وأن زيف الدنيا زائل .. وأن كل نعمة دون الجنة فانية ..
وكل بلاء دون النار عافية ..
فقف محاسبا لنفسك قبل فوات الأوان

الدنيا مسألة حسابية ..
خذ من اليوم عبرة .. ومن الغد خبرة ..
اطرح عليهم التعب والشقاء .. واجمع عليهم الحب والوفاء .. وتوكل على رب الأرض والسماء

تبسم ..
فإن هناك من يحبك .. يعتني بك .. يحميك .. ينصرك .. يسمعك .. يراك ..
هو الرحمن ..

Over...Wa Domtom...

Your life is what you do with it....

Some Mental notes.... I just felt the urge to write...
'Youmna Younes Style' :))

The longer you wait, the longer you lose... unless you are waiting on perpose...

The more patient you are the more life will give you...  as long as there is the slightest hope...

There is no such thing as too Late... in most cases...!

Persistence bears fruit... and Success...

Never settle for something, no matter how huge or difficult is was to achieve...

Always thank God and be grateful, even if it's something small, even if it's insignificant, even if it's negative...

Life is a Box of Chocolates; different shapes, sizes and flavors... Yet always sweet and enjoyable...

If one of those chocolates you don't like, remind yourself of all those nice chocolates you have already eaten, and dream about all those nice ones that are still coming...

Anything that's risk free is not worth it...It's how you reach your destination that matters...

Lose dependence on others... At least be aware of it, try to minimize it... Life is much easier when it's in your hand...

Nothing is impossible...Or so they say...!!

There is no such thing as a day that has not added something to you in whatever way, form or depth.

Never Stop Learning, Never Stop Learning, Never Stop Learning !!!

Friends Come and Go... Sad but True... If it's someone you do care about, don't let go without a fight...

Life is cruel...People will hurt you...And you will hurt people...

You can try to fix things...But not everything is fixable...You must try though, even if you know you will fail...

This is a public Blog...Never Offend anyone in Public...

True Friends are those you can tell them something you know would hurt them, however they won't hold it against you...

If you can reach the level of total honesty with someone... Never let him/her go...

Know how to deal with anyone, Get to know many, Enjoy the company of a lot, be friends with a some, love a few and cherish a handful...

Be true to yourself...If you lose this you lose it all...

I am crazy...But I'm ok with it...I embrace it...I enjoy it...

Being cool under stress is a blessing...Not Stressing at all is a problem...Stress without panic gets the best out of things...

I tend to take control of my life...That way I can take both credit and blame...

Maybe I should let go a little...Maybe trust someone enough to help out...

Nothing will make you happier than the things that made you happy all along...Allow exceptions to that rule though...

Going back to basics is a must...In Everything...

I'm Back to my screwed up mind...This couldn't be good...

Biggest Enemy...Anger!

Fear...Future!

Doubt...Doubt...Doubt...

Final Note...Life is Good...and that's not a Given...It's a Choice... :))

Over...Wa Domtom...

My Song...:))

عصفور - محمد منير

وكأنى عصفور مدلع
اة متلوع وفى قلبة حكايات بتولع

راح اغنى ولازمنى ادفى وابعد حزنى
ولكنى بحس اكمنى عاشق لزمانى الى تاعبنى
اة تعبنى 

لو حقدر اغير راح اغي
ر لو مش قادر انا لازم اغير واتغير
ولان محدش كلمنى
انا بمشى على شاطىء حزنى
وكأن العالم مش ملكى

Over....Wa Domtom....

A Jar & 2 Cups of Coffee....

I got this by email, some very long time ago...I like it...so I share it...

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full.
They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full.
They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full.
The students responded with a unanimous "yes".

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - your God, your family, your children, your health, your friends, and your favorite passions -- things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your car. The sand is everything else -- the small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your partner out to dinner. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal."
Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter.
Set your priorities. The rest is just sand.

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented. The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

Over....Wa Domtom....

Happy Quest...

I woke up very happy yesterday....

I don't know if it was a nice dream or an overall state of excitement....

I want to be happy....

I wonder what it takes....

It's consuming a lot of my energy lately, and I have this feeling I am getting closer, or furthur, from something....

I hate when that happens...!!

Anyway, I'm on my 'Happy Quest'....:))

I hope I get there someday....the sooner the better to be honest!!

Over....Wa Domtom....

Today...

I did something new today...I conquered my mood...
I simply got over it, I beat my ego…and I’m proud of it!

I actually got over the reason I got pissed off…at least I’d like to believe I did!!
I hope it’s not building up insideme though…anyway….

I have to be honest, it wasn’t intentional; it wasn’t me at least. Probably it was the company I was with…
I like them, I enjoy being with them; they cheer me up….

Coming to think of it, the did try to cheer me up, each in his own way….apparently some of them succeeded….

On another – not very related but who cares – topic, I saw that movie the other day, it was really nice.  Long time since I’ve seen a really good movie; ”Up in the Air” it was called. No no…I’m not about to review a movie!!

The point is, the movie ended up on a depressing note for me; the thought of ending up alone. It made me question that, I really felt it happening to me; it got to me in a way.

The problem is I related to the guy. I am not talking about George Clooney because I am not even close, I know that and it dosn't prevent me from sleeping at night.
I am talking about the character, the loner. Lots of close friends, but none very very close. Many people in his life, very few of them really matter. The person who is hoping for change, going for it, yet accepting defeat, easily in a way….

I just related to the character… I don’t want to end up alone.

But do I have the choice? I doubt…

I got another thought right now….if I end up with someone, she will lift me up….

She will always can, no matter where we are, no matter what mood any of us is in, no matter how we are doing together, no matter what…

At any given moment…If she wants, she’ll put a smile on my face….:)

Over....Wa domtom....

The Fireworks….They were for Me!

It was not a nice day at all...

It started off by me waking up late, missing half the class. I managed in the next few hours to cause a lot of damage!

I got a friend angry from me because I’m stupid...
I had a friend cross half the city and then messed everything up...
I had to undergo a full day avoiding memories...
I went into a meeting, with the outcome upsetting a friend and I could do nothing about it...
I shouted at two friends and ruined a moment, without any apparent reason...

I really felt very bad...

But then I was on my way back home…and I heard a bang! I looked up, FIREWORKS!!
I love fireworks...LOVE! One of my favorite things in life...
I stare when I see them like a little child, with a stupid smile on my face...:))

First thing coming to my mind, what’s today’s date? 9th of February...what’s special about today...? Nothing I can think of...
Then why the fireworks?

Just at that moment, we discovered that the car’s back seat window, my friend’s car, suddenly opened – it hasn’t been working for 4 years, as far as I can remember – and I burst out laughing…!

And then it occurred to me...I know why those Fireworks were filling the sky...!!
They were for me!! How simple the explanation is...

A couple of hours later, in the hype of my optimistic vibe, I get a message on my mobile…and it just puts a smile on my face…Perfecto….

Lesson learnt: “Don’t ever Judge a Day before it has ended!! It’s not over till it’s over...”

Now, two days later I really am grateful for the optimistic side I have inside me; I don’t plan to let go of it easily…Not anytime soon!

I had my own fireworks to makeup a bad day...kool isn't it?! :D
God really has his way in life...Alhamdulillah...

Over....Wa domtom....